We must choose - Urmila Mataji

Paraphrased from a Shrimad-Bhagavatam class by Her Grace Urmila Mataji at Bhaktivedanta Manor on Friday 19th January 2007:

"We can choose to either jump into the sea or stay on land. We can't stay very long on the wet sand in between. Similarly, sooner or later we have to choose to jump into the ocean of spiritual bliss or strive for material happiness. We can't hang on to both forever."

"A stereotype of feminine nature is soft-heartedness. We see in the mother's affection for her child or the example of Draupadi in Mahabharata. Ashvattama killed all her sons while they were sleeping, yet when Arjuna was going to kill him, Draupadi became compassionate. Because of her soft heart, she didn't want Ashvattama's mother to suffer the same grief that she was suffering, so she pleaded Arjuna not to kill him. In the same way, Radharani is the original female and is the most soft-hearted. That is why Krishna is most merciful in His advent as Lord Chaitanya - because He takes on the soft-hearted, compassionate mood of Radharani."

"When a woman gets married, immediately she is treated as an intimate relative by the family of her husband. When one enrols at university, one gets access to library resources, lectures and expert teachers that would otherwise be inaccessible. In the same way, when an aspiring devotee gets initiated, he obtains access to the knowledge, realisations and mercy of the entire disciplic succession and is accepted as a family member of the sampradaya."

"Time in the spiritual world is inconceivable for us. For example, when a small baby sees his mum leave the room, he cries uncontrollably. Because the baby has no understanding of the concept of space, he thinks mummy has disappeared into another dimension. He cannot understand that she has simply walked into another room in the same house. Even when you show him the next room, he still doesn't understand because he has no concept of space in the way we experience it. Only when he himself can crawl to another room can he understand that mum has gone to another room. Similarly, we have to accept that we cannot know what time is like in the spiritual world until our consciousness transfers to the spiritual dimension - only then can we appreciate and experience spiritual time."

Book Distribution - Sandeep Shah prabhu

Paraphrased from a Book Distribution seminar by Sandeep Shah prabhu at Bhaktivedanta Manor on Thursday 18th January 2007:

"If a football team simply have training sessions all the time but never play a professional match, the players will get pretty bored. Sadhana is like the training sessions and preaching is like the professional match. In other words, practicing sadhana can become dry and uninspiring unless we also preach."

Quoting Shrila Prabhupada: "Preaching is the essence, purity is the force and books are the basis."

"Prabhupada said that the books are already distributed to the souls who want them - Krishna has already arranged it - the question is: do you want to become the instrument by distributing them?"

"Anyone can distribute books. The key is to recognise that Krishna is doing everything and He is so kind that He will let any sincere soul become an instrument. In this connection there is a Christian saying: Everyone is useful, no-one is necessary."

"Whenever I distribute books, no matter what reaction I get, I always say to them "I wish you good luck for the rest of the day". Then they normally reply "Good luck to you - hope you have a good day too". In this way, a book distributor engages everyone he meets in the Krishna Consciousness movement, because they perform some devotional service by wishing the book distributors good luck."

"Just by being out there you can help souls. In Southampton, I couldn't distribute any books. Then this man sitting nearby called me over and asked what I was doing. I told him that I was distributing books about yoga and meditation, and he seemed agitated. He was saying things like religion is useless, God doesn't exist etc - in other words he was an atheist. However he also worked as a salesman. He then said "In any case you're using the wrong techniques - you have to approach them like this, show more eye contact and shake their hand like this". Since nothing else was working, I tried his techniques and people started taking the books. When I looked back at him, he was ecstatic at the sight of the books being sold. He was saying to me 'Go on son, well done'. In this way, even though he was a staunch atheist, he helped the sankirtana movement by helping me distribute books, and it was giving him so much pleasure too, therefore he was practicing devotional service."

"Prabhupada said that just by seeing the book, the person is guaranteed their next life as a human. Therefore when we simply show people the books, we are guaranteeing people won't degrade to animal life."

"Just as a footballer has to train well in order to perform well in the football match, so a book distributor needs good sadhana in order to distribute books. In California they did an experiment to prove this. They asked a non-devotee who sold thousands of books for a living to try and sell Prabhupada's books. After one month with not one buyer, he gave up. Yet new bhaktas in the temple were able to distribute them - because they were devotees chanting Hare Krishna. So good sadhana gives the edge in book distribution."

"We must listen to the people we are talking to. A doctor cannot help his patient unless he first hears the patient describe their problem. Similarly, we can't expect people to take books unless we listen to their opinions and concerns."

"Hridayananda Maharaja was saying recently that preaching is about building bridges with people, finding a common position. It is not about confronting people - so don't get into any fruitless debates with people."

"Internally, we should be crying and begging the person to take the book and become a devotee of Krishna. But externally we should be cool and detached - as if they're the ones who want the book, not that we are desperate to sell. After all they need Krishna Consciousness, they just haven't realised yet."

Intelligence and Doubt

Paraphrased from a Shrimad-Bhagavatam class by His Holiness Hridayananda dasa Goswami at Bhaktivedanta Manor on Wednesday 17th January 2007:

"Let's say something bad happens to us. If in the ultimate sense, we truly believe that "I don't deserve this", then we are subscribing to an atheistic outlook on life. Why? Because if God is the supreme controller (ishvara paramah krishnah) and the supreme well-wisher, then nothing that happens to us is undeserved."

"If you don't recognise and respect Krishna's presence in non-devotees as well as devotees, then you are still on the materialistic platform."

"No matter how much we are mistreated, we must let go of bitterness. Because in the spiritual world there is no bitterness. Therefore remaining bitter is the same as maintaining material attachments and is an offence to the holy name."

"When we realise we are driving in the wrong direction, we can't immediately turn around on the road because of the risk of causing an accident. We have to wait for the next roundabout before we can turn. Similarly, lust cannot be destroyed immediately, it is a patient and gradual process."

"Laziness means I go to the gym but don't even pick up any weights. At the same time, lifting too much will be damaging. Best thing is to accept a personal trainer who can give us a programme suited to what we can manage. Similarly, laziness in spiritual life is to refuse to practice the process of chanting. At the same time, trying to surrender before we are ready will be damaging. Best thing to do is to accept the nature that Krishna has given us and approach Him by dovetailing that nature in His service."

Paraphrased from a Bhagavad-gita class by His Holiness Hridayananda dasa Goswami at Soho St on Wednesday 17th January 2007:

"Doubt is a sign of intelligence and it is needed. For example, if we didn't doubt any of our urges, then we would commit atrocious acts on people because we would blindly follow all such urges."

"If we are stuck in a fire, but we blindly doubt the fireman when he is giving us a helping hand, then we are to be considered foolish. Therefore it is extremely dangerous to blindly doubt authoritative knowledge."

"Not doubting anything and doubting everything has the same result - we become dysfunctional."

Paraphrased from a debate concerning the book "The God Delusion" featuring His Holiness Hridayananda dasa Goswami at Soho St on Wednesday 17th January 2007:

"Not everything we hold to be true is based on empirical fact. For example, yesterday exists but there is no way of proving it because it has gone. Justice is a principle which is indispensable to any society, but it is not an object one can point to. Equality is the basis of democracy, yet there is no way one can empirically say that any two individuals are equal."

"All civilisations with highly developed moral systems were originally inspired by metaphysical considerations such as religion and theistic philosophy."

"On the level of dogma, religions are different but on a foundational philosophical level, there are hardly any differences between the religions of the world."

Nectar of Devotion:

"One should specifically engage in a devotional activity that one has a natural aptitude for - for example some have an attraction for hearing, some for serving etc. In this way one should perform devotional service under regulative principles according to one's particular taste."

Paraphrased from Shrimad-Bhagavatam class at Bhaktivedanta Manor by H.G. Abhaya prabhu on Thursday 18th January:

"When it is described that non-devotees have no good qualities, it means that they don't have any purely good qualities. In other words all their 'good' qualities are contaminated by the modes of passion and ignorance."

"One can engage even bad qualities in Krishna's service. For example, the Yamadutas serve a pure devotee, Yamaraja, by punishing living beings for their sins. In other words they engage their bad qualities in service i.e. their desire to torture and cause pain to other living beings!"

Intellectual Debate

So the big debate featuring Hridayananda Maharaja happened at Soho St yesterday. It was really exciting to go and see Shri Shri Radha-Londonishvara for the first time in over three months and it was nice to get the association of Sandeep prabhu on the way there. The good thing is when we're travelling somewhere there is nothing else to do, so I managed to get some extra rounds done which will help make up for the days I lazed about when I was at home.

A Brazilian devotee who came with us had long been worshipping a photo of ISKCON London's Jagannath-Baladev-Subhadra deities in Brazil, and so was excited at being able to see them face to face for the first time. When we got to the temple, Maharaja was giving Bhagavad-gita class, so I feared the debate would not happen. The entire temple room and corridor was packed. At 7pm there was an ecstatic Gaura-Arati, before the actual debate happened.

The audience were to give Maharaja atheistic challenges, starting off with arguments from 'The God Delusion', a book by the atheist scientist Richard Dawkins. One assertion was that the Design argument doesn't work because it begs the question of "Who designed the designer?" An interesting response from Maharaja was that since the designer is God and all-powerful, He can Himself explain how He was designed - it is not for us to worry about.

We got back to the temple late and slept by 23:40 - woke up today at 3am so hardly got any sleep. Just managed to finish my rounds before Guru-puja, and was really tired so on the verge of going back to sleep, when Jiva Doya prabhu suggested that I wait till the end of morning programme and service before sleeping. Somehow it filled me with the strength to fight my mind and attend Guru-puja and class. Then had prasadam and did service. It was a nice opportunity because I got to dust the gates directly in front of the deities, so I was dusting right in front of the gaze of Radha-Gokulananda and Sita-Rama-Lakshmana-Hanuman. For once I was enjoying the service, so hopefully my service attitude is getting better. Also before that, Shrinivasa prabhu gave me the opportunity to clean the area around Shrila Prabhupada's murti. I just pray that Prabhupada and Krishna may forgive me for the countless offences I must have caused while cleaning there. After that I was due to clean the windows but I couldn't find Prayojana prabhu so I went to put my clothes for washing.

17/01/2007

Yesterday evening I was chanting a few rounds in the temple room and was feeling down because of my headache. It's amazing how a little bodily pain can play havoc with the mind. I was starting to question 'what am I doing here?' just because I had a little headache. I was leaving to go back up to the ashram, when one devotee who's always chanting reminded me that there's prasadam available. After taking prasadam, which was really nice roasted potatoes and khichdi, I was feeling more upbeat again. It just goes to show how I am definitely on a bodily platform! I was down because of headache and happy again because of food!

I was intending on getting an early night and missing Hridayananda Maharaja's talk, but instead I had a long conversation with a devotee friend on the mobile. By the end of the conversation I was no longer feeling tired so I went down for the remainder of Maharaja's class. Of course, Hridayananda Maharaja is a PhD in Sanskrit from Harvard University, so the talk was always going to be interesting to hear from a scholar as well as a devotee.

There were a few particularly interesting things he said about causeless mercy, which is misunderstood by devotees in general. Causeless mercy does not mean that Krishna gives His mercy to someone totally undeserving of it, because this would mean that Krishna was lying in the Bhagavad-gita when He says "I am equal to all", "I do not favour anybody" and "I reward the living entity exactly as He approaches Me." The recipient of the mercy always does something, like takes a step towards Krishna, even if it is insignificant or unintended. The real meaning of causeless mercy is that in exchange for something so small like unknowingly taking one step towards Krishna, Krishna takes a hundred steps towards us and makes arrangements for us to obtain His unlimited mercy.

One mistake I made yesterday evening was taking mahaprasad after 9pm, which meant I found it harder to get to sleep. The morning programme was really nice today again and by Krishna's mercy I was asked to lead Nrsimha Arati. The Shrimad-Bhagavatam class was given by Hridayananda Maharaja. There was an interesting question and answer session on the meaning of "surrender". Maharaja was saying that it meant to approach Krishna (as in the sanskrit "prapadye") whereas Gauri prabhu mentioned the high meanings given by Rupa Gosvami such as "atma-nikshepa" (throwing oneself at the feet of the Lord), "atma-nivedana" (sacrificing oneself), and "sharanagati" (taking shelter). Maharaja clarified it by saying that these high meanings of surrender are often misconstrued by devotees as requiring one to denature oneself by rejecting one's own natural propensities. The conclusion was that there needs to be a balanced understanding of surrender. It is a very high offering of oneself, but at the same time it should be recognised that one always has unique, individual propensities and desires even in the liberated stage, so there is no need to deny all one's natural propensities, especially if they can be used in Krishna's service.

Had service to do today of dusting lights and curtains. As usual, the problem with me is that I do service because I have to do it. I don't have an immense desire to do menial service. I tried my best to dust the lights but it seemed futile because I don't think it was going very clean. But the devotees were ok with it. One devotee told me to adjust Bhaktivinode Thakura's photo in the temple room so that it is straight, which was nice because he appreciated when I put it straight. I think it was some sort of reciprocation from Krishna. I realised later on after putting everything away that Prabhupada's photo was not straight - so I'm still missing things and being neglectful in service. But it was still good to do some service because I know I have to develop that service attitude.

I saw someone with a black jacket on coming into the temple room while I was cleaning and when I looked again I realised it was Maharaja. He's really down to earth the way he hugged one devotee in the temple room when they greeted each other. Actually he was saying in class that he only sees his role as a guru as a service to Prabhupada, and he is really a normal person who takes his own trash out at home! I'm looking forward to his debate at Soho St tonight with an atheist...can't wait!!

Day 1 of Sabbatical

Thursday 16/1/2007

I just started the second half of the sabbatical at Bhaktivedanta Manor yesterday evening. My parents dropped me off on a really quiet Monday evening at the Manor. It felt weird saying goodbye to them even though it is only for three months. Seeing Sunny and Mick again was really good, whilst Raj straight away gave me something to look forward to, mentioning how I may be involved in university programmes. Everything is nicely set up here with sleeping arrangements, central heating and hot showers so there are no excuses for me to not wake up early and do things properly.

That being said, today I have had a splitting headache. Rikin suggested that it might be because I have not had enough water during the day and have become dehydrated because of all the heaters on all the time. The morning programme was good. Rikin suggested to me that I write up a brochure for the sabbatical like a university or gap year prospectus - so already I am being given service opportunities. Bhuta Bhavana told me just two days ago that if we are not engaged constantly with projects then we will become lazy and more susceptible to lust, so it is great that now the days will be packed with things to do in Krishna's service. The Shrimad Bhagavatam class went on a little late with questions and answers stuck on the issue of whether God listens to the prayers of non-devotees. The conclusion was that God listens to all prayers from everyone, but is more likely to reciprocate and fulfil the desires of the devotees, since they are surrendered to Him.

We had an introductory welcome by Gauri (Temple President), Shruti Dharma and Sita Rama prabhus. They gave an insight into how we will be in touch with so many different types of people from different backgrounds and different viewpoints while we are at the Manor, and so it will be a tougher challenge to practice Krishna Consciousness effectively here compared to India. We were then given an introduction to the ashram rules and principles by Jiva Doya prabhu. He commented that we will be given more chance to share what we have learnt in India with people here and so it is an exciting time ahead.