17/01/2007
Yesterday evening I was chanting a few rounds in the temple room and was feeling down because of my headache. It's amazing how a little bodily pain can play havoc with the mind. I was starting to question 'what am I doing here?' just because I had a little headache. I was leaving to go back up to the ashram, when one devotee who's always chanting reminded me that there's prasadam available. After taking prasadam, which was really nice roasted potatoes and khichdi, I was feeling more upbeat again. It just goes to show how I am definitely on a bodily platform! I was down because of headache and happy again because of food!
I was intending on getting an early night and missing Hridayananda Maharaja's talk, but instead I had a long conversation with a devotee friend on the mobile. By the end of the conversation I was no longer feeling tired so I went down for the remainder of Maharaja's class. Of course, Hridayananda Maharaja is a PhD in Sanskrit from Harvard University, so the talk was always going to be interesting to hear from a scholar as well as a devotee.
There were a few particularly interesting things he said about causeless mercy, which is misunderstood by devotees in general. Causeless mercy does not mean that Krishna gives His mercy to someone totally undeserving of it, because this would mean that Krishna was lying in the Bhagavad-gita when He says "I am equal to all", "I do not favour anybody" and "I reward the living entity exactly as He approaches Me." The recipient of the mercy always does something, like takes a step towards Krishna, even if it is insignificant or unintended. The real meaning of causeless mercy is that in exchange for something so small like unknowingly taking one step towards Krishna, Krishna takes a hundred steps towards us and makes arrangements for us to obtain His unlimited mercy.
One mistake I made yesterday evening was taking mahaprasad after 9pm, which meant I found it harder to get to sleep. The morning programme was really nice today again and by Krishna's mercy I was asked to lead Nrsimha Arati. The Shrimad-Bhagavatam class was given by Hridayananda Maharaja. There was an interesting question and answer session on the meaning of "surrender". Maharaja was saying that it meant to approach Krishna (as in the sanskrit "prapadye") whereas Gauri prabhu mentioned the high meanings given by Rupa Gosvami such as "atma-nikshepa" (throwing oneself at the feet of the Lord), "atma-nivedana" (sacrificing oneself), and "sharanagati" (taking shelter). Maharaja clarified it by saying that these high meanings of surrender are often misconstrued by devotees as requiring one to denature oneself by rejecting one's own natural propensities. The conclusion was that there needs to be a balanced understanding of surrender. It is a very high offering of oneself, but at the same time it should be recognised that one always has unique, individual propensities and desires even in the liberated stage, so there is no need to deny all one's natural propensities, especially if they can be used in Krishna's service.
Had service to do today of dusting lights and curtains. As usual, the problem with me is that I do service because I have to do it. I don't have an immense desire to do menial service. I tried my best to dust the lights but it seemed futile because I don't think it was going very clean. But the devotees were ok with it. One devotee told me to adjust Bhaktivinode Thakura's photo in the temple room so that it is straight, which was nice because he appreciated when I put it straight. I think it was some sort of reciprocation from Krishna. I realised later on after putting everything away that Prabhupada's photo was not straight - so I'm still missing things and being neglectful in service. But it was still good to do some service because I know I have to develop that service attitude.
I saw someone with a black jacket on coming into the temple room while I was cleaning and when I looked again I realised it was Maharaja. He's really down to earth the way he hugged one devotee in the temple room when they greeted each other. Actually he was saying in class that he only sees his role as a guru as a service to Prabhupada, and he is really a normal person who takes his own trash out at home! I'm looking forward to his debate at Soho St tonight with an atheist...can't wait!!
I was intending on getting an early night and missing Hridayananda Maharaja's talk, but instead I had a long conversation with a devotee friend on the mobile. By the end of the conversation I was no longer feeling tired so I went down for the remainder of Maharaja's class. Of course, Hridayananda Maharaja is a PhD in Sanskrit from Harvard University, so the talk was always going to be interesting to hear from a scholar as well as a devotee.
There were a few particularly interesting things he said about causeless mercy, which is misunderstood by devotees in general. Causeless mercy does not mean that Krishna gives His mercy to someone totally undeserving of it, because this would mean that Krishna was lying in the Bhagavad-gita when He says "I am equal to all", "I do not favour anybody" and "I reward the living entity exactly as He approaches Me." The recipient of the mercy always does something, like takes a step towards Krishna, even if it is insignificant or unintended. The real meaning of causeless mercy is that in exchange for something so small like unknowingly taking one step towards Krishna, Krishna takes a hundred steps towards us and makes arrangements for us to obtain His unlimited mercy.
One mistake I made yesterday evening was taking mahaprasad after 9pm, which meant I found it harder to get to sleep. The morning programme was really nice today again and by Krishna's mercy I was asked to lead Nrsimha Arati. The Shrimad-Bhagavatam class was given by Hridayananda Maharaja. There was an interesting question and answer session on the meaning of "surrender". Maharaja was saying that it meant to approach Krishna (as in the sanskrit "prapadye") whereas Gauri prabhu mentioned the high meanings given by Rupa Gosvami such as "atma-nikshepa" (throwing oneself at the feet of the Lord), "atma-nivedana" (sacrificing oneself), and "sharanagati" (taking shelter). Maharaja clarified it by saying that these high meanings of surrender are often misconstrued by devotees as requiring one to denature oneself by rejecting one's own natural propensities. The conclusion was that there needs to be a balanced understanding of surrender. It is a very high offering of oneself, but at the same time it should be recognised that one always has unique, individual propensities and desires even in the liberated stage, so there is no need to deny all one's natural propensities, especially if they can be used in Krishna's service.
Had service to do today of dusting lights and curtains. As usual, the problem with me is that I do service because I have to do it. I don't have an immense desire to do menial service. I tried my best to dust the lights but it seemed futile because I don't think it was going very clean. But the devotees were ok with it. One devotee told me to adjust Bhaktivinode Thakura's photo in the temple room so that it is straight, which was nice because he appreciated when I put it straight. I think it was some sort of reciprocation from Krishna. I realised later on after putting everything away that Prabhupada's photo was not straight - so I'm still missing things and being neglectful in service. But it was still good to do some service because I know I have to develop that service attitude.
I saw someone with a black jacket on coming into the temple room while I was cleaning and when I looked again I realised it was Maharaja. He's really down to earth the way he hugged one devotee in the temple room when they greeted each other. Actually he was saying in class that he only sees his role as a guru as a service to Prabhupada, and he is really a normal person who takes his own trash out at home! I'm looking forward to his debate at Soho St tonight with an atheist...can't wait!!
posted by Muser at 4:32 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home